Border Hopping

The following is a textersation from yesterday:

:Lando!
:Dude. Where is ya?
:Golden State. stopped to skinny dip in the colorado riv. at border. already stamping the gr8 st8.
:How far to L.A.?
:Prob 3 hours. Shouldnt hit traffic. So stoked.
:I bet.
:Stopped at McDonalds. Saw 3 desert rednecks and one botched cos surgery.
:Nice. How is (your wife)?
:Got nabbed by CHP for talking on phone while driving.
:U R kidding.
:Nope. Shes pissed. But it’s a good omen – tough stuff out of way 1st. Speaking of. I’m gassed up. Better hit the road again. Dont text n drive!
:Give me a call 2nite.
:K. It’s over 100 degrees before noon. Geez. L8R.