No Words…

Nothing went as planned. And it was the most amazing moment I have ever experienced with a community of others in my lifetime. So that’s what winning feels like?

I’m sick as a dog, but it didn’t hit me until Saturday afternoon. Pretty well pushed through by last night. I’m weak today, but trooping. At work. I’m dressed up as one-half of Daft Punk. You want details.

Game 6, Top of 9th.

Him: Man. We’ve got the right guys approaching the plate. I think we’re gonna make some noise.
Me: I have no idea how to feel. I’m a Cubs fan. This is completely unfamiliar to me.
Him: That Craig home run was huge. I don’t know if we could get three in the 9th, but I think we can get two!

Craziness ensues. Tie game.

Game 6, Top of 10th.

Him: Gotta hold. I don’t really like Motte throwing another inning. He’s just not built for it yet.
Me: He’s got the meat of the order, too.

Josh Hamilton home run.

Me: This feels all too familiar.
Him: Oh, brother… I think that may be too much to ask for. Damn it. I really wanted this one!
Me: Yeah. I just don’t see how they could do it twice.
Him: Let’s see what our lead off guys do in the bottom. I’m also curious to see if Washington plays no doubles, which will give us more of a shot.
Me: I didn’t think of that.

Craziness ensues…again. Tie game.

Cardinals hold.

David Freese.

IT Guy cried.

Game 7.

Him: This is gravy, man. Get ready to celebrate, then get my a** back to Chicago overnight!
Me: You think they’ve still got enough in them?
Him: I’d certify it.

Can’t imagine why I got sick. One for the ages. Got IT Guy on a plane and back to L.A. and CyberDefender so he could get off the plane and go straight back to work.

October 31, 2011 at 2:48 pm Leave a comment

Headed to STL for an IT Meet-up

Phone call last night.

Him: I’ve got tickets to Game 6 and 7 of the World Series. I’ll be working the weekend on a stellar trade off. You wanna join me?
Me: Are you serious?
Him: Landon, I’ve suffered enough watching this series from a couch in Southern California. DVR’d none the less. I’ve got an extra ticket for each night within a block of tickets that a bunch of my buddies bought. So. Stop stalling. Are you in or out?
Me: How much are the tickets?
Him: Don’t worry about it…you can buy the beer, brats and whatever else I ask for. So? Yea or nay?
Me: My heart and head left the office 20 seconds ago! Need to see Pujols in a Cardinals uniform for the last time-
Him: You’re a douche. Scratch that. You’re a d*ck.

It was a douchey-dickey thing to say, all things considered.

Me: Come on, man. You know I’ll cheer for the Cardinals as if they were my future son’s team. God knows that it’s the closest I’ll ever be to cheering for the Cubs in a World Series.
Him: Most excellent. I’m glad you said yes, ’cause I need you to pick me up at O’Hare. It’s gonna be cheaper to fly into Chicago, and you’ll enjoy the company, no doubt. I’m scheduling the flight back for Friday morning so I can get in and work after the Cardinals win a Game 7 in one of the ages! I’ll get there at noon tomorrow, so we’re gonna have to haul to STL.

I’ll keep you posted.

October 25, 2011 at 6:39 pm Leave a comment

IT Influence

We’ve been sold. Out.

Not really. Though we do have a new sweetheart deal with CyberDefender. Good ole IT got his old company hooked up with his new company, so all of our computers are going to be running on that system now. I think it’s kind of cool. A bit of a memory of the real IT Guy. His presence will be here on a daily basis. IT Fella was even cool with it. When asked by our office manager:

Fella: I think it’s a great idea. Are you kidding me? How often can you get a connection with a little personal personnel support? Makes my job a lot easier.

And that keys you into his daily line of thinking. Regardless, it’ll kind of be nice to know that if I need something in terms of computer security that I’ll be dealing with someone I know and trust as opposed to the guy who’s allergic to work. Apparently, this is gonna save the company some funds, too, when comparing our past purchase with Norton. I don’t really know about that stuff, so much. I’d be the naive individual who would say that all that stuff is comparable. Then I learn about. That’s what makes me such a beast in the world of sales. I just don’t sell computer technology.

October 18, 2011 at 7:16 pm Leave a comment

Chasing a Fly

Just when I think I really can’t stand IT Fella, he comes rolling through the office on a Friday in excellent spirits and apt to an odd task.

There was a fly. A singular fly. Perhaps on steroids. This thing was harassing everyone. In particular, IT Fella. He spent the better part of a fairly laid back day roaming through the office with various implements – a towel, a miniature baseball bat, paper, electronic fly swatter. This fly was invincible. As far as I know, he’s going to have the place all to himself to die in peace this weekend.

Fella: Where is that little bast*rd? I was doing a system restore, and then I looked down. He was crawling into my cappucino. Drinking it! Come on, man!? I shooed him away, and went back to work…then I pick up my beverage and he’s crawling down into the cup again! I had to switch cups.

I really wish I had a camera with me today. Nothing better than watching someone have spastic fits every few minutes, chasing around something that possesses a distinct battle advantage. I thought for sure that he would nail the sucker with the electric fly swatter, but that’s when the super-maggot went into hiding.

Fella: That little bast*rd is a WWII Ace.

October 14, 2011 at 3:14 pm Leave a comment

An Information Technology Discussion

When I say information technology, I do, of course, mean someone, as opposed to something. This discussion took place yesterday with one of my supervisors.

Supe: How are things, Landon?
Me: Um. Things are good. The Bears seem to suck again, so it looks like all is right in the world.
Supe: I can’t even watch the games. You know my wife is from Charlotte, so I think I’ve jumped on the Cam Newton bandwagon.
Me: I may ask for a visitors pass sometime soon.
Supe: Can I ask you a quick question?
Me: Of course.
Supe: How do you feel our new information technologist is handling the load?
Me: You’re asking the wrong, very biased individual this question.
Supe: That’s why I am asking you. Because I know you’ll be brutally honest if need be.
Me: I can’t argue that he knows is stuff. He’s just kind of an a** at times. I don’t mean to be harsh, but he has no sense of decorum.
Supe: OK. But you find his professional ability to be up to snuff?
Me: I do. ┬áIf I’m being complete fair and honest. I don’t think we could challenge his technological expertise, but socially? I mean IT (Guy) was an example of an enigmatic who gets social grace. I don’t think we’re dealing with that in (IT Fella).
Supe: Good to know. Speaking of which, how is (IT Guy) enjoying California?
Me: Kid in a candy store.
Supe: He sent me a fake OSCAR that said “Best Performance as a Boss”
Me: Like I said.

October 12, 2011 at 4:37 pm Leave a comment

Is My IT Guy Working!?

There are certain things that offer inevitable frustrations within a professional environment. I always use sports analogies. It is what I understand. You lose a Hall of Famer, and a young, talented kid comes in, the team chemistry will still suffer. Our office space is borderline miserable for me. I know there are others who are suffering, too.

IT (Guy) used to offer free computer education to those who would kindly learn and listen. I sometimes wonder if the new IT (Fella) is even working. I seriously don’t know what’s going on in his workspace, but for some reason I imagine him drinking Dr. Pepper and eating chips, while playing online poker. I overheard this conversation earlier today.

Helpless Girl: I really don’t know what’s wrong with my computer. My search engine is all messed up. It used to search through Google, and now it’s some weird thing I’ve never even heard of.
Fella: What did you do to it?
Helpless: I didn’t do anything that I don’t normally do. I turned it on, started to use it and it was messed up.
Fella: Slide over.

A few seconds pass.

Fella: OK. You’re good.
Helpless: What happened?
Fella: I don’t know. You probably accidentally did something when downloading a program. I really don’t know without digging and wasting your time.
Helpless: So. What do I do if it happens again.
Fella: Just let me know. That’s my job.
Helpless: …ok…

I really have a feeling that in a few years, companies like this are going to start outsourcing our IT issues to specialized entities like the one the original IT Guy is now working for.

October 4, 2011 at 10:59 am Leave a comment

IT Fella Flag Football

Yesterday, I had an interesting exchange with the artists currently known as IT Fella.

Fella: Landon. You play football?
Me: Competitively?
Fella: Sure. Or just for fun. There’s a bunch of us getting together tonight to play some flag football tonight. We need a few more and I thought you might like to play.
Me: Actually…that sounds really fun.
Fella: Cool. I’ll count you in.
Me: What’s the level of play?
Fella: Do you need a certain standard for it to be worth your time?
Me: What? No. I just don’t want to look like an idiot. I guess I wanna know if I need to bring cleats and stuff.
Fella: Well, I wouldn’t wear what you have on now, if that’s what you’re asking.
Me: Really? The shirt and tie? No go on the football field?
Fella: Just bring what you’ve got. If you have cleats, I would wear them. We’re trying to get a competitive flag team together, so it’s kind of like a tryout.
Me: Oh. Well. I used to play when I was younger, so-
Fella: Then bring your A game if you want to get on a team.
Me: OK, man, I’ll bring my A game.

They sucked. Worst pick up game ever. There were too many guys there, and the level of play was below my standard. IT Fella was spiking the ball after every catch (which I believe was three or four), and every time I caught the ball I would take it to the house. I cannot imagine how bad their team will lose every game. I politely declined the invitation to play, and Fella’s face upon my “no thanks” was priceless. Maybe if I inadvertently insult him enough, he’ll just leave me alone. I get along with everyone, and I can’t get along with this guy.

September 30, 2011 at 10:32 am Leave a comment

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